Batten down the hatches!

Batten down the hatches, there's a storm on the horizon! At least, if I had hatches, I'd batten them down. We're looking at a big line of thunderstorms headed our way. The toys are in from outside, the windows are closed (most of them, anyway) and the children have had their baths. I even took a picture of my daffodils, in case the storm crushes them.

So, I think we're ready. I'll check in with you tomorrow.

(We didn't bring the chickens in. You think they'll be okay?)

Stop Theif!

It was 2:30 am the other night. I heard a noise on the front porch, like metal banging around. Assuming the chickens were still in their coop, the dog was in the carrier and the indoor cat was still indoors, I thought maybe the outside cat was chasing a mouse. But really, she's usually a much more stealthy hunter than that. So, I did what any self-respecting country woman does. I woke my husband.

He grunted once or twice, grabbed a t-shirt and moccasins and stumbled to the window. He looked out, then turned on the light. And grunted again. Deciding that most burglars, even the dumb ones, don't make that much noise, he opened the door and went onto the porch. He saw movement and looked into the yard.

Him: "It's a raccoon. It's got the cat's food bowl."

Me: "What?!"

Him: "Jinx's bowl. He's trying to steal it."

Me: "Hey! Bring that back, ya' stupid raccoon!"

By this time, hubby was out in the yard, with a flashlight, chasing the raccoon. It dropped the bowl and disappeared into the woods. Hubby retrieved the bowl and brought it back up, laughing. Mostly at me, I think.

"Great," I was thinking, "something else I have to remember to do every night, bring in the bowl from the porch." Then, another thought hit me. "Um, where's the water bowl?"

We looked around for a few minutes. It was nowhere to be seen. So now, I'm thinking, "Our son would love to have a coon-skin cap."

Stupid raccoon.

Grow Old Gracefully? No way!

I absolutely refuse to grow old gracefully. I'm fighting it every step of the way. And there's quite an arsenal out there for me to add to my stockpile. Here's what I bought last night:

There's a daily cleanser, rejuvenating serum (sounds scientific, doesn't it?), makeup that claims to be "ageless", age defying moisturizer (I like the "defying" part) and of course, hair color.

There were a few other options, but the names sounded like they belonged at Home Depot: something called "primer"* and another called "filling and sealing treatment". There's also "resurfacing elixir". Now, if they can just come up with facial spackle, we're all set.

If it works, I can post close-up photos soon. If not, you'll only see distant, blurred images.

*Okay, I would have gotten the "primer", but they were out.

Milky Way Cake

My husband had a birthday the other day. He turned forty-something (we try not to talk about it too much). So, I made a cake for him. It involves a cake mix, butter and six Milky Way bars. I wasn't sure how it would turn out, but I figured with those ingredients, it couldn't be bad.

So here's what you do: Mix up the cake mix according to the package directions. Melt the Milky Way bars in butter, then add that to the cake batter. Bake in a bundt pan. That's it. And it's delicious.

Next time, I'm using Dark Chocolate Milky Way bars and chocolate cake mix.

Valentine's Day

PEZ dispensers for everybody! I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that my children had never had PEZ (PEZ company )candy before today. Okay, so giving your children candy isn't necessarily the mark of a good parent, but really? They've never had PEZ?! It seems like such a part of my own childhood that I can't believe I've never shared it with my own brood.

I also learned that, in spite of the increase of prices on so many things, I was able to buy a dispenser and refill candy for each of my three children for about $7, total.

And, to top it off, PEZ candy is made in the USA. Sweet.

I think Phil is right!

Last week, the world's greatest weather forecaster, Punxsutawney Phil, failed to see his shadow. Therefore, we will have an early spring. Okay, so I don't usually plan my days around the prognostications of a rat from anywhere, including a nice little town up north. But, I like this prediction. So, I'm going with it.

According to the rodent from Pennsylvania, my tulips can safely emerge from the ground and start the show. Go ahead. Bloom.

Mmmm...marshmallows

My friend Lisa makes marshmallows. I knew it was theoretically possible, but I've never known anyone who actually did it (although I think I saw Martha Stewart make them on television once).Anyway, Lisa not only makes the usual vanilla marshmallows, she makes peppermint too. Those are perfect for hot chocolate. Her latest? Coffee marshmallows. Seriously. Can you imagine anything yummier than a coffee infused marshmallow IN your morning coffee? I didn't think so. And, yes, it is as good as it sounds.

She may be making these to sell soon. I've volunteered to be a taste tester.