"Diplomacy is about surviving until the next century. Politics is about surviving until Friday afternoon." --Sir Humphrey Appleby
"I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding"--Steven Wright
"Exactly what time did I lose control of this show?"--Johnny Carson
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."-- Mark Twain
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans."-- Ronald Reagan
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